The Pie of No Virtue

This recipe was lent to me by Sarah from Idaho (yes, another Sarah!) last year, when I was searching for an idea for my brother’s Christmas Pie of No Virtue and I just had to try it! Thank you soooo much!

AlmondJoyPie2

“Hi, here’s my Almond Joy pie, not healthy or vegan in any way, shape, or form, but tastylicious.
I usually use a regular butter pastry crust, but graham cracker or cookie crust is also good. I first toast 1/2 to 3/4 cup of sliced almonds and layer them over the bottom of the baked crust.”

I adapted Sarah’s original recipe a bit and came up with mine. Her recipe used 2/3 milk and 1/3 half and half or cream for the custard, I went with 2% milk. I also added a layer of melted chocolate over the crust, leaving a shortbread like treat at the bottom!

AlmondJoyPie1

Almond Joy Pie

Crust Layer:

  • 1 9″ pie crust, thawed if frozen
  • ¼ cup semi-sweet or dark chocolate chips
  • ¼ cup toasted and finely chopped almonds

Chocolate Custard Layer:

  • 6 Tbsp granulated sugar
  • 1½ Tbsp cornstarch
  • 3 Tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 2 egg yolks
  • 1½ cups low-fat milk
  • 1 tsp pure vanilla extract

Coconut Custard Layer:

  • 6 Tbsp granulated sugar
  • 1½ Tbsp cornstarch
  • 2 egg yolks
  • 1½ cups low-fat milk
  • ¼ cup natural coconut, chopped finely
  • 1 tsp pure almond extract

Directions:

Prick the crust liberally on bottom and sides, bake as directed. Take out, sprinkle chocolate chips on bottom, return to oven a minute to melt. Take out and gently spread chocolate over the bottom with a small spatula. Scatter almonds over the bottom.

Chocolate Custard Layer -

Add dry ingredients to a medium saucepan, whisk in eggs and milk till smooth. Heat over medium, whisking constantly until bubbling and thickened. Take off heat, whisk in vanilla. Let cool for 10 minutes, whisking every minute, then spread in pie crust evenly. Set aside.

Coconut Custard Layer -

Add dry ingredients to a medium saucepan, whisk in eggs and milk till smooth. Heat over medium, whisking constantly until bubbling and thickened. Take off heat, whisk in coconut and almond extract. Let cool for 10 minutes, whisking every minute, then spread in pie crust evenly over chocolate layer. If desired, sprinkle a little more finely chopped almonds on top. Let set on counter for 30 minutes, refrigerate for a few hours until chilled.

To cut, run a thin knife through, cutting through the crust. Top with whipped cream if desired.

Makes 1 pie.

Tip:

To toast almonds, spread on a small rimmed baking sheet and bake at 400° for 5 minutes. Cool and finely chop in a mini-food chopper.

~Sarah

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Chocolate Banana Freezer Pie & Hand Pies

Wooh. Big day for me. I successfully made a pie crust that wasn’t oily nor contained shortening or butter. And tasted great. And I was able to roll it out pretty/not tear. I’ll be honest, pie making is not my area of expertise. My Mom was the one who could make a tender, flaky crust. Not me. Part of it was being so impatient. I would watch her and wonder why anyone would want to spend that kind of time when they could buy a pre-made crust. Yes, I am cringing. I haven’t bought a refrigerated pie crust in years (nearly all of them contain multiple artificial colorings) and frozen ones often have questionable fats added. It was hard to give up the convenience though and try to learn how to make a good crust. But with my only options being mostly freezer burnt organic ones – that cost $5 or more, I had incentive. And frankly, how many times do you buy a frozen pie crust that doesn’t need to be thawed and repaired before you bake it? And that even taste good enough that you want to waste calories on it?

My inspiration came from The Best of Clean Eating 2: Over 200 Recipes with Cleaned-Up Comfort Foods and Fast Family Dinners, on pages 236 through 238. I took the liberty of adaptation, using hazelnuts versus peanuts – after all, hazelnuts and chocolate are a match anytime, no? And I used refrigerated unsweetened coconut milk versus the light called for, which would have been canned milk. It is cheaper, fresher and tastes better! Maybe it was my years of working for an Asian importer, but I got soured on canned coconut milk, then found a new love once I started using the refrigerated last year.

The only downside is the pie is a bit less creamy than it might be than if you used the canned. Once frozen you do need to let it thaw on the counter for 30 to 45 minutes, till you can cut it. Then let your slices sit a bit longer, it gets creamier the longer it sits (although there is that fine line between frozen and melty!).

Walker enjoying his slice:

Whole-Grain Nut Pie Crust

Ingredients:

  • ¼ cup whole raw hazelnuts
  • 1 tsp sucanat or organic granulated sugar
  • ¼ tsp fine sea salt
  • 1¼ cups whole-wheat pastry flour
  • ½ tsp baking powder
  • 1/3 cup low-fat milk (dairy or non-dairy, used unsweetened coconut milk)
  • 1 egg yolk
  • 1 Tbsp sunflower oil
  • 1 Tbsp apple cider vinegar

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 375°.

Add the hazelnuts, sugar and sea salt to a food processor bowl, process until finely ground. Add the flour and baking powder, pulse a couple of times to combine.

Whisk the milk, egg, oil and vinegar together, slowly pour through the food chute with it running on low. Process just enough to combine ingredients, it will be partially crumbly, but stick together when squeezed.

Dump dough out onto a well-floured surface. (I found I had to knead the dough a bit to work in a little more flour) Use a lightly floured rolling-pin to roll out to a 12″ circle. Roll the dough gently on the rolling-pin and transfer to a pie pan, unroll over. Gently fit the pie crust inside. Either make a fancy fluted edge or trim the excess off and use a fork to crimp the edge. Prick the dough all over the bottom and sides with a fork to create steam holes.

Transfer to oven and bake for 20 minutes, until edges and center are golden. Remove from oven and let cool fully before using.

Dough scraps? See below!

Makes 1 9″-inch pie crust.

Chocolate Banana Freezer Pie

Ingredients:

  • 5 ripe bananas, peeled
  • ¼ cup unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 1 cup unsweetened coconut milk
  • 1 tsp pure vanilla extract
  • ¼ cup raw hazelnuts, finely chopped
  • 1 ounce dark or semi-sweet chocolate or chocolate chips, finely chopped
  • 1 pie crust, from above

Directions:

Add the bananas, cocoa, coconut milk and vanilla to a high-speed blender (such as a Vitamix). Process on high until smooth, scraping the sides if needed.

Transfer the baked pie shell to a small rimmed baking sheet. Scrunch up two bits of foil and position at each end to keep the pie pan from shifting. Pour the mixture in (it will resemble cake batter). Sprinkle the hazelnuts and chocolate on top. Transfer to the freezer, covering with plastic wrap. Freeze for at least 4 hours or overnight.

Let set at room temperature for 30 minutes (longer if pie was frozen overnight), until pie is just soft enough to yield to the cut of a knife. Slice and serve.

Strawberry & Chocolate Hand Pies

Ingredients:

  • Left over raw pie crust
  • Strawberry preserves
  • Dark or Semi-sweet chocolate chips

Directions:

Roll the dough scraps out to about ¼” thick, trim the edges to make neat, cut into rectangles about 8″ long and maybe 4″ across – or whatever size you desire. Add a dollop of jam in the center (a heaping teaspoon or so) and a sprinkle of chips (4 to 8), fold in half and crimp the edges with a fork. Place on a parchment paper lined baking sheet, bake alongside the pie shell, for 20 minutes. Let cool down before eating, the filling will be very hot.

Made 3 from scraps. Oinks!

~Sarah

Proudly made with our Vitamix Blender:

My Favorite Pumpkin Pie

I made this pie for Thanksgiving this year for the first time, it has become my “go to” pie now. Smooth, creamy and not watery – it is so easy to whip up!

Easy Pumpkin Pie

Ingredients:

  • 15 ounce can pumpkin purée
  • 14 ounce can or bottle sweetened condensed milk
  • ½ cup liquid Egg Beaters or 2 large eggs
  • 1 Tbsp pumpkin pie spice blend
  • 9″ unbaked frozen pie crust, thawed (deep dish style)

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 425°.

Whisk the pumpkin, milk, eggs and spice together in a large mixing bowl until smooth. Place the pie pan on a baking sheet, pour the filling into the crust. Bake for 15 minutes. Lower the oven to 350° and bake for 40 minutes.

Take out and let cool on a rack, refrigerate wrapped.

Makes 1 pie.

~Sarah

Maple Pecan Pie

Another take on Kirk’s favorite holiday pie, the maple syrup pecan pie. I promised him a non-vegan pie for Christmas but swapped Egg Beaters© out for the eggs to at least knock the cholesterol down a bit. I did stick with butter though as I like the taste better.

Maple Rum Pecan Pie
Ingredients:
•    9″ unbaked pie crust, in pan (thawed if frozen)
•    5 Tbsp unsalted butter, room temperature (soft)
•    1 cup granulated sugar
•    ½ tsp kosher salt
•    ¾ cup liquid Egg Beaters© or 3 large eggs, room temperature
•    1 cup pure maple syrup
•    1 tsp pure vanilla extract
•    2 Tbsp rum, divided
•    2 cups pecan, ¾ finely chopped, ¼ whole
Directions:
Preheat the oven to 350°. Place the pie pan on a baking sheet.

Heat a large skillet over medium, add in the pecans and toast till smelling fragrant. Take the pan off the burner, carefully add in 1 Tbsp rum, stir till the alcohol has evaporated. Take off the stove and let cool.
In a stand mixer bowl beat the butter till light and fluffy. Add in the sugar and salt, mix till combined. Add the eggs, maple syrup, vanilla and 1 Tbsp rum, beating in. Add in the cooled pecans. Pour into the pie shell and gently place in the oven. Bake for 50 to 60 minutes, until the pie is golden brown and the center jiggles a bit. Let cool to room temperature, then store tightly wrapped in the refrigerator.

Best served chilled!

~Sarah

My Mother’s Kitchen: Cranberry Pie

Another recipe from my Mom’s files. This was an odd pie. You don’t hear of many people baking cranberry pies but she would put nearly anything into a crust! (And usually it would taste pretty good – but my Mom made amazing pie crust as well. Not me though…..)

Cranberry Pie

Ingredients:

  • 3 cups fresh cranberries
  • 2 cups granulated sugar
  • 3 Tbsp all-purpose flour
  • 6 Tbsp water
  • 2 Tbsp butter, diced
  • 2 Pie Crusts

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 350°. Fit one of the pie crusts into a pie pan.

Mix ingredients and put into the pie shell. Dot with butter.

Cover with lattice top crust (cut the other pie crust into strips).

Bake about 35 minutes.

~Sarah

Vegan Pumpkin Pie with Oil Pie Crust

I was feeling adventurous over Christmas and tried out a couple new ideas – a vegan pumpkin pie and a no roll pie crust containing oil rather than shortening. My brother didn’t guess tofu in the pie though he did ask what I had done different with the pie. I liked the taste and it is a very thick pie. No way is it the same as traditional pie but if you don’t tell anyone what you did, they will eat it! The crust I wasn’t so sure about till after the pies were baked. It turned out quite nice and is beyond freaking easy!

Oil Pie Crust

Ingredients:

  • 1 1/2 cups (5 1/4 ounces) all-purpose flour
  • 1/2 tsp kosher salt
  • 1 tsp granulated sugar
  • 1/4 tsp baking powder
  • 1/3 cup canola oil
  • 1/4 cup cold water

Directions:

Whisk together the flour, salt, sugar and baking powder in a medium mixing bowl. Beat the oil and water with a fork, then pour over the dry ingredients. Stir with the fork until a dough develops. The dough will be wet in appearance, do not worry.
Dump the dough into a 9″ pie pan and pat across the pan and up the sides, up onto the rim. Use a measuring cup or small glass to flatten out the bottom and rim, if needed. Fill and bake.

Makes 1 pie crust layer.

Vegan Pumpkin Pie

Ingredients:

  • 15 ounce canned pumpkin purée or 1 3/4 cups pumpkin purée
  • 12 ounce package firm silken tofu (lite is OK)
  • 3/4 cup sugar (vegan friendly or regular granulated)
  • 1 tsp ground cinnamon
  • 1/2 tsp ground nutmeg
  • 1/4 tsp kosher salt
  • 1/4 tsp ground ginger
  • 1/4 tsp ground allspice
  • 1/4 tsp ground cloves

Directions:

Preheat the  oven to 375°.

Add all the ingredient into a food processor and blend until smooth, scraping the side as needed.  Pour into the prepared pie crust and smooth the top with a spatula.

Bake for 1 hour, check with a toothpick in the center for it coming out almost clean. Keep baking if needed and checking every 10 minutes. My pie took 1 hour and 20 minutes.

Let cool on a rack, cover tightly and store in the refrigerator.

Makes one 9″ pie.

~Sarah

Maple Rum Pecan Pie

For Kirk’s twice a year pecan pie I stayed with his favorite maple syrup style but changed the recipe a bit, adding rum to the recipe along with toasting the pecans in more rum.

Maple Rum Pecan Pie

Ingredients:

  • 9″ unbaked pie crust, in pan (frozen is fine)
  • 5 Tbsp unsalted butter, room temperature (soft)
  • 1 cup granulated sugar
  • 1/2 tsp kosher salt
  • 3 large eggs, room temperature
  • 1 cup pure maple syrup
  • 1 tsp pure vanilla extract
  • 2 Tbsp rum, divided
  • 2 cups pecan, 3/4 chopped, 1/4 whole

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 350°. Place the pie pan on a baking sheet. Heat a large skillet over medium, add in the pecans and toast till smelling fragrant. Carefully add in 1 Tbsp rum, stir till the alcohol has evaporated. Take off the stove and let cool.

In a large bowl beat the butter with a hand mixer till light and fluffy. Add in the sugar and salt, mix till combined. Add the eggs, maple syrup, vanilla and 1 Tbsp rum, beating in. Stir in the cooled pecans. Pour into the pie shell and gently place in the oven. Bake for 50 to 60 minutes, until the pie is golden brown and the center jiggles a bit. Let cool to room temperature, then store tightly wrapped in the refrigerator.

~Sarah

Coconut Cream Pie

For Thanksgiving my brother asked for a coconut cream pie that I realized I had never made before. Huh. So I looked for ideas and decided on a custard style pie without a topping (as in no meringue on top). Instead we could top each slice with Cool Whip® (Yeah, yeah….I know. It is one of those gross commercial things I can’t give up. Whipping cream is too heavy tasting for me.) The filling as pudding would be delicious alone.

Coconut Cream Pie

Ingredients:

  • 9″ pie crust, baked and cooled (frozen ones work well)
  • 2/3 cup granulated sugar
  • 1/4 cup cornstarch
  • 1/2 tsp kosher salt
  • 3 cups low-fat dairy milk
  • 4 egg yolks
  • 2 Tbsp unsalted butter, room temperature
  • 4 tsp pure vanilla extract
  • 1 cup shredded coconut

For Topping -

  • 1/4 cup shredded coconut
  • Cool Whip® or whipped cream

Directions:

In a large heavy saucepan whisk the sugar, cornstarch and salt together. Whisk in the eggs and then the milk slowly until combined. Bring to a boil over medium heat, stirring often. Once it boils, cook for 1 minute stirring constantly. Take off the heat and add in the butter, whisking till melted. Add in the vanilla and then the coconut. Pour into the pie shell and smooth out. Let sit for a couple of minutes to cool down, then cool in the refrigerator. Once cold wrap tightly.

To toast the coconut:

In a preheated oven at 350° spread the 1/4 cup coconut on a baking sheet. Toast for 7 to 10 minutes, shaking often until golden brown. Let cool and store covered.

To serve the pie, cut wedges and top with cream, sprinkle on toasted coconut.

~Sarah

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